A first date can be one of the most intimidating things we face as human beings, a mad mixture of formidable apprehension, overwhelming excitement, and butterflies on the loose in your stomach, mild headaches, and breathlessness, to mild nausea and back again. Whatever your physical response and mental state, a first date can be nerve-wracking to say the very least. Things that we normally do on a daily basis suddenly become near impossible such as choosing what to wear, thinking of something witty to say, or just being your normal humorous and easy going self.
Make sure you focus on be as normal as possible, following your normal routine as if you were getting ready to go to work, have a shower get dressed and be on time. Do a little research on the venue if it’s a restaurant, dress accordingly and put some careful thought into what you order from the menu and no matter what, remember everything from conversation to consumption should be in moderation. Here’s a list in order of the most important things “NOT TO DO” on your first date. Follow these dating rules and your on a winner on your first date.
1. DON’T BE LATE
It doesn’t matter how good your excuse is, there is simply no excuse for being late, especially on your first date and if you’re lucky enough get a second date you will never be able to live that first date mistake down. Moreover, this is a display of not caring, and sends a message that your time is more important than your date’s time, leave home or work early, and allow some extra time to make sure your punctual.
2. DON’T FORGET TO SHOWER
Some people can get into such a tizz that they forget to bathe and attend to their normal grooming regime. The five senses play an important role here and if you come across as being in anyway smelly or emitting unpleasant body odours then the chance of a second date are probably pretty slim.
3. DON’T GET DRUNK
You might be a tad nervous but don’t use that as an excuse to write yourself off in an attempt to get the better of your nerves. No one likes to hear you slurring your words, burping and apologising for your actions because you were a little nervous. Remember first impressions count so try and keep things tidy.
4. DON’T BRING A FRIEND
This is possibly one of the worst things you could do, it tells your date that you are completely incompetent, have no confidence whatsoever and can’t make your own decisions or assessments; you are governed by your friends. It will undoubtedly make your date that is probably equally as nervous, feel very uncomfortable.
5. DON’T CHECK YOUR PHONE
This is your first date and if there was ever a time to display undivided attention to anyone or anything, it’s right now. In fact in this circumstance its best to turn your phone off and leave it in your bag or car or even at home. They should pick up on this given the overuse of these maddening devices and you may just get a few extra brownie points.
6. DON’T DISCUSS PAST RELATIONSHIPS
This is a huge no-no and will scare the pants off your date, they are probably trying to forget about their last partner and that’s why they’re on a date with you, to help them forget. And if you start talking about your past relationships it might mean to them that you’re still in love with one or more of your past partners.
7. DON’T TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE
It’s your first date, don’t be like a bull at a gate. You need to get to learn about each other and not come across as some desperate weirdo who thinks he’s Errol Flynn on a self confessed love escapade. Leave the marriage and baby talk discussions for a much later date.
8. DON’T TALK ABOUT SEX
You may think your god’s gift to women or the next Joan Collins of your generation but bringing up the topic of sex is a big mistake, generally. This subject is best left alone as it can be a sensitive subject for some, anyway there will be plenty of time for a roll in the hay down the track.
9. DON’T REVEAL PERSONAL FAMILY INFORMATION
This date all about you and your better getting to know each other, not about your mothers amazing fruit cake or the gold medal your dad won at the 1968 winter Olympics. Should this first date explode into a full blown love affair then by all means disclose more about your family and its history.
10. DON’T ORDER THE WRONG FOOD
You have already spent enough time preparing yourself to make a good impression, maybe you have a perfectly pressed white shirt or blouse on, so the last thing you want to do is splatter and spray it with bolognaise sauce or honey infused chicken wing dipping sauce. And if you’re not a master with chopsticks then maybe request a fork.